


Nice Penis

by eostara



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Anal Sex, Brief Marquis de Sade Mention, Fanfiction within fanfiction, Foreplay, Handcuffs, Implied Oral Sex, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 21:28:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11067492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eostara/pseuds/eostara
Summary: A favorable organ used to inseminate receptive partners during copulation. Skwisgaar has a particularly nice one, but it won't be put to much use tonight.





	Nice Penis

A fan-base could be as unfortunate as it was rewarding. DethFans just so happened to be _particularly_ awful, and Dethklok had to suffer through their adoration and fantasies when the masses were not being _slaughtered_ at their latest concert mishap. William Murderface was seemingly the only one excited by the recent onslaught of fanfiction; it was the start of the attention he so desperately longed for year after year. Nathan Explosion would never admit to his morbid curiosity nor the mix of irritation and relief at how everyone saw him as the ultimate in loving-yet-brooding _princes of the night._ Pickles the Drummer had to commend the fans on their attention to detail, and he left it at that whenever anyone asked for his opinion on their shameless smut.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf and Toki Wartooth had been in the middle of a hellish waltz from the beginning. The pair of them had been the centerpiece of all things homosexual, erotic, and homoerotic as soon as their rise to fame reached the ears of basement-dwelling misfits trying to get popular on the internet. Their supposed disgust gave way to resignation, resignation to a façade of ignorance. No one said it was a particularly **strong** façade, for it all came crumbling down the one evening Toki decided to walk in on Skwisgaar without knocking.

* * *

"Guysch! _Guysch!_ Lookit thisch!" Murderface motioned to the laptop with a cheerful grin. "More fanfiction. You'll never _guessch_ who it'sch about."

"You're _way_ too excited about gettin' fuckin'... _gay-ass fanfiction_ written about you, Murderface," Nathan mumbled, rolling his eyes as he turned the page of his book.

"Hey, you don't even _know_ it'sch about me. I didn't **schay** who it wasch about yet!"

 **Someone** had to humor him. With Skwisgaar and Nathan being unwilling, and Toki busy shooting spaceships on one of their many video games, Pickles was left to take up the job. The sooner they got Murderface to quiet down, the better.  
  
"Alright, I'll bite. _Is_ it about you?" Pickles asked, pierced brows raised with mild curiosity.

"Yer **damn right** it'sch about me!" Murderface turned the laptop around in his lap and pointed to the screen. Uninterested in the sex, Pickles scanned through what he could see just to confirm Murderface's was there. Sure enough, he was, in the _submissive role_ he was **born** to be in no less. "They put me with Toki again for **schome** reaschon, but who the fuck caresch? They're _writing about **me!**_ "

"Yeh, they are." It was **vanilla as hell** from what he could tell, which made Pickles even less interested, but he could not fault Murderface for taking whatever he could get. He nodded, leaned back in his seat, and grabbed his beer. "This mean ya want some congratulatory cake er somethin'? _I banged Toki in theory._ Gotta nice ring to it."

A familiar scoff brought an amused smile to Pickles' face. " _Ins theories_ ams right. Ams de closest Moiderface ams ever gonna gets to humans interack-shuns." Skwisgaar did not even bother to look up from his guitar as he spewed venom. Heaven forbid he put anything above his practice.

Alas, Murderface saw an opportunity to stir the pot and _dove right in._  "Aww, yer juscht jealousch causche it ain't about _you_ anymore. Yer gettin' replaced by **me!** That'sch **gotta** pissch you off."

"You wanna bones Tokis, dats you's business. I'ms just saysin's it amn'ts gonna happens. He ams, how you says, _ways_ outs of you's leagues."

"It wouldn't happen becausche I don't schwing that way, but whatever helpsch you schleep at night." Murderface closed the laptop and bent over it, chin placed in his hands, calloused fingers tapping against his cheeks. "Juscht fasche it; you ain't _makin' the cut_ anymore. Theresch gonna be a _new_ popular couple in thisch shitty-assch fanbasche, and it'sch gonna be me and Toki. Y'know...not **you** and Toki."

Skwisgaar opened his mouth to retort, only to be cut off by a familiar whine.  
  
"I can **hears you** talkin's abouts me, you knows," Toki called. Like Skwisgaar before him, he refused to turn away from what he was doing. Blasting intergalactic enemies to smithereens apparently took precedence over trying to decide who would **hypothetically** win the rights to his dick. "Ams all stupids anyways. Why ams we talkin's abouts fanfiction? I's always ons de bottoms in those things."

"Dude, not _thisch_ time. **I'm** the one schtuck takin' it up the...y'know." Murderface frowned and grumbled. His fingers stilled as his cheeks went red with embarrassment.

"Wait, reallys?" Toki turned away from the game machine. His ship exploded, the **GAME OVER** screen shading him with green. "Dey lets me tops?"

"Fer _schome_ reaschon. Everyone knowsch yer awful at it."

Toki grit his teeth, looked between Murderface and his game, and placed the gun back in its slot. He had to defend his honor now; _fuck_ the video game. "I am _nots!_ I haves you know I's goods at sex!"

"Schure you are," Murderface scoffed. "And the Schouth won the Civil War, too."

"Jeezs, can'tsk you twos gets a fuckin's rooms?" Standing from his seat, Skwisgaar clutched his guitar to his chest with one hand and whapped the back of Murderface's head with the other. The bassist yelped and sneered as he glared up at him. "No one gives a fucks abouts de sex yous gonna haves."

"We amn'ts gonna have _any_ sex!" Toki fired back.

"Schoundsch to me like yer jealouschy isch gettin' th' better of ya," Murderface said smugly, rubbing where Skwisgaar hit him. "Yer lettin' yer imagination run a little wild, Schkwischgaar."

"Whatevers. You kids haves fun." Just like that Skwisgaar was gone, skulking down the hallway towards the kitchen. Probably for a beer of his own; they _all_ liked to indulge whenever they talked about the forbidden act of _fucking amongst themselves._ Pickles glanced at Nathan, who had pointedly shoved his face in his book to ignore it all, then downed the rest of his drink in the hopes of tuning out Murderface and Toki's squabbling. It was going to be a _long_ , _painful_ evening.

* * *

Murderface left first, surprising no one. Arguing with him was like arguing with a brick wall, and Toki was honestly no better. With the pair of them frustrated, it was not long before Murderface headed to his room with his laptop in tow, swearing that Toki would get nowhere with _anyone_ and slamming a door for emphasis. Toki followed suit soon after, and Pickles could only assume he was brooding away in his bedroom. It left him alone with Nathan, who was not much of a conversationalist when he was reading. They talked about how gross the Marquis de Sade was for about half an hour before Pickles got bored and trekked to the kitchen in search of a snack and another bottle of beer...or five.

Honestly, he had never seen what the big deal was regarding fanfiction. Sure it could be a little ridiculous ( _disgusting, downright insulting_ ) but the only thing which ever hurt him _personally_ was his pride. Besides, getting his boxers in a wad about it felt hypocritical. No matter what he said on the Dethklok minute, he was still sucking Nathan's dick behind closed doors at the end of the day. Nathan _loved it_ too, if continually calling Pickles back for more indicated anything. It made him feel almost **proud.** The problem was that he figured him and Nathan were the only ones _guilty_ of such debauchery in the quintet.

A thought which quickly changed when he entered the kitchen and saw Skwisgaar sitting there. Sometime between when he left and when Pickles arrived, he had brought his laptop in with him. Sometime after that, he had _apparently_ opted to pull up some of that fanfiction for himself. Pickles could see why Murderface went hunting for it – he had complained for years that the fans wanted _nothing_ to do with him in their erotica – but what did _Skwisgaar_ have to look for that he could not get in the bedroom himself?

His eyesight was fucking awful. Quietly as he could ( _which was not quiet at all_ ) Pickles snuck up behind Skwisgaar to get a glance at what he was reading. Apparently the guy had been **absorbed** in it all, for Pickles caught a glimpse of Toki's name before Skwisgaar _yelped_ , slammed the laptop shut, and whipped around to demand what Pickles was doing there. Had it not been pathetic above all else, it might have been hilarious.

"Ya don't gotta hide it. Saw pretty much everythin' I needed t' see." Pickles left Skwisgaar to gape long enough to grab a beer from the fridge, popping it open and tossing the cap in the sink. Once he was prepared, he pulled up a chair and sat beside him, leaned over the table with a yawn. "Ya know what th' funny thing is? I would'a figured I'd catch _Toki_ doin' that shit, not you."

Slender fingers maintained a tight grip on the laptop. Skwisgaar scowled, refusing to look Pickles in the face. "I's was curious," he said defensively. "You shoulds sees what dey writes aboutsk me recentlys. Dey t'inks I'ds subs for **dat** clown? Fuckin's dildos. What's, I looks like a goils or somet'in's?"

"Do ya want me t' answer dat honestly?"  _No_ , judging by Skwisgaar's death glare. Pickles grinned back at him, unfazed by the unspoken threat. "So ya wouldn't let 'im fuck you in th' ass. Fair 'nough. Would ya fuck _him_ if y' had the opportunity?"

"Nos. Whys you gots de sudden interests ins my sex lifes?"

"Why are ya lookin' up fanfiction' 'bout you 'nd Toki?"

"I tells you olready. I was curious."

"You ain't been curious before."

A shudder ran through Skwisgaar's body, and he laid his chin on the laptop with a groan. "...Dey makes us all loveys-doveys. Ams discustin's. Who woulds wanna be loveys-doveys wit'  _dat_ asshole?" Rapidly tapping his fingernails against the computer, Skwisgaar answered his own question before Pickles could butt in. "Dey don't _lives_ wit' 'im. Dey don't knows what he ams likes. I fuckin'  **hates**  'im."

Pickles knew that was bullshit. He hummed and nodded anyway.

"Doesn't shows ups to practice, fuckin' blames me for everyt'in's what ams goes wrongs in his life, I _hates 'im._ Hates 'im and his stupids voice, and his long hairs, and his...porfect...bodies." Skwisgaar's jaw tightened. "Hates how dey writes abouts him wit'  _Moiderface._ I's whats ams **betters** den hims. They forgets dat olreadys? What's Moiderface gots dat I don'ts gots?"

Woah. Pickles tutted and held his hands up, cutting Skwisgaar off. "Yer jealous of _Murderface?_ " he asked incredulously. Skwisgaar Skwigelf, the god of sex and electric guitar, jealous of William Murderface? If there was a list of things Pickles never expected to hear, that was near the top of the list.

Not that Skwisgaar would admit to it directly. He was already backing off, blue eyes wide with indignation and alarm. "Jealous of _hims?_ No fuckin's ways! Dat amn'ts brutals. Besides, whats I gots to be jealous of? It amn'ts likes he's _actually_ bangin's Tokis."

Another thing near the top of the list of what Pickles never thought he would hear. He had to take a _long_ swig of his drink before he could ask his next question. "Yer worried Murderface and Toki are gonna _bone?_ "

Hesitating, Skwisgaar narrowed his eyes and pointed a finger at Pickles. "...You's puttin's words into my mouths. I don't _likes it._ "

"I'm only repeatin' what _yer_ sayin', dood."

"I amn'ts saysin's _nothin's._ Dis convers-sations amn'ts **never happeneds** , okays Pickle?"

"It's okay t' admit yer jealous, Skwisgaar! I just didn't think you were gonna be jealous of – "

"I ams _nots jealous!_ **Especiallys** nots of _Moiderface!_ I won't hears no udder words aboutsk it!"

"...Alright, but I _swear_ , I _really_ don't think him and Toki are...ya'know, **doin'**  anythin' like that." Pickles covered a hand over his mouth, struggling not to laugh. It had been obvious from the word _go_ that Toki and Skwisgaar had a **thing** going on between them, but he never imagined himself caught between it all. He _certainly_ never imagined he would have to **try** and comfort Skwisgaar of all people. Not that it was _working;_ Skwisgaar did not want to talk, and Pickles was no love doctor.

...But he could **try** to be. Just as someone needed to humor Murderface a few hours before, someone _also_ needed to get these Scandinavian lovebirds settled together. If Nathan was too chicken to do it, if Murderface was too self-absorbed, then it was up to Pickles the Drummer – yet again – to play the man in the middle. _Challenge fucking accepted_. This was **way** too good an opportunity to pass up; they would thank him later when they got over their soreness in the morning.

"Ya'know...you should talk t' Toki 'bout dis." That seemed like a good place to start off.

Skwisgaar blinked at him. "Why de fucks woulds I do **dat?** "

"Cause I think ya should? C'mon. Humor me a bit, why dontcha."

"Dere amn'ts nuttin's to talks to hims abouts. I finds out you tells hims abouts dis, I kills you in yous sleep." He could probably do it too. Pickles would not count on it though.

"Dood, no. I ain't gonna be th' one to tell 'im jack shit." A bold-faced _lie_. In fact, he made a mental note to go find Toki and talk to him about it as soon as he was finished with Skwisgaar. "Ya gotta do it yerself. This is between you and 'im."

Skwisgaar regarded him for a few moments, ultimately sighing and laying his head down on the computer. "I don't t'inks you notice, but dis amn'ts some fuckin's romance novels in whats dat you gets a happy endin's. I can'ts tells him anyt'in's. Besides..." He laughed. An empty, sarcastic sound. "Why de fucks I needs loves anys-ways? I gets all the goils I wants."

All the girls and still no Toki. Pickles shrugged and smirked. "Yeah, but none of 'em got dat _buff ass_ ," he remarked. Dating Nathan or no, Pickles could afford to appreciate the food on the menu even if buying it was out of the question.

Skwisgaar reared up and bit back what Pickles could only assume was a jealous remark. "I...I _finds_ one!"

"Will ya?" Pickles nodded towards the door. "'Cause y'know, he's in 'is bedroom. Ya _might_ wanna hurry up and get on that _findin'_ thing."

Skwisgaar did no such thing. With a roll of his eyes he picked up his computer, mumbling, "I goes to _bed._ "

"'kay. But don't come whinin' t' me when y' get a boner fer the guy."

"I olready _gots_ a boner!" Too late did the implications mean anything to Skwisgaar, same with Pickles' shit eating grin. His eyes widened in panic and he dropped the laptop, hands held up in a plea for Pickles to keep his mouth shut and understand. "But nots for **hims!** Nots for **Tokis!** **_Fucks!!_** "

His cries fell on deaf ears. Pickles stood up, cupped a hand over his mouth, and called out: " _Hey, Toki – !!_ "

" _No!!_ " Skwisgaar leapt to Pickles' seat and scrambled to cover his face with his hands, arms, _anything_ that would get him to shut up. " ** _No. No! Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-NO!!_** " They fell onto the floor like that, amidst a broken computer and a puddle of beer, Pickles laughing his ass off as Skwisgaar protested and begged for him to _shut the fuck up._

* * *

"He wants me to do _whats?_ "

A dumbfounded Toki made for an interesting audience, and this time was no exception. Pickles **knew** calling the guy into his bedroom to talk was a good idea. The place reeked of vomit, booze, and tobacco, but it was better than talking out in the open. He took a long hit of his cigarette and beamed as smoke flew out of his nostrils.  
  
"I'm tellin' ya, he wants you t' fuck his brains out. Or uh...have you let _him_ fuck _yer_ brains out. Whichever you two prefer, or whatever. It's sex either way."

"You's _sures_ abouts dat?" Toki cocked his head and blinked, not buying it. "Ams justs a boner, Pickle. Don't means he wants me to do nothin's. Mights a been thinkin's abouts one of dems ladies in his schedules."

"Dood, Toki, if he _wanted_ Ethel to go down on 'im, he would'a called 'er up. Pretty sure it ain't a groupie givin' him a case of blue balls. He wants yer hot dick." Another hit, followed by smoke rings blown in Toki's face. Toki batted them away, sneering in disgust. "Would I _lie_ t' you about somethin' like dis?"

He watched and snickered as Toki thought about it, gears so obviously turning.  
  
"Probablies?" Toki answered. "You's all likes to makes funs of me."

"We like makin' fun a Skwisgaar too. Just got finished makin' fun of him 'bout his boner an hour ago. We were talkin' about yer ass, by the way."

"Still don't means nothin's. Can gets a boners for _any_ reasons besides mes." The longer they spoke, the less certain Toki sounded. Pickles was getting through to him. It was only a matter of time before the two of them were fucking like rabbits in each other's beds. They would thank Pickles for his hard work later. Nathan and Murderface would not.

Pickles did not bother waiting for his cigarette to finish. He put it out on his mattress, amongst similar burns left in the stained, smelly fabric, and pulled out another from beneath his pillow. "Yeah, ya can," he agreed as he lit up. "But dat ain't th' case 'ere. Why dontcha wanna find out? You gonna gimme some song and dance 'bout how ya don't _swing dat way?_ Tell me ya ain't a homo?"

Toki's jaw hardened. "I amn'ts!"

"Sure, and yer hair ain't brown neither."

"Whys you all talkin's like dis wit' de comparisons and stuffs todays? I amn'ts – I means – I likes _more_ den just mens and you _knows its!_ "

"But ya _do_ like men, yeah?"

Pickles saw that jaw relax, and Toki slumped in his seat. "...Maybes." Figures. Toki had always struck Pickles as pansexual, on top of having a lot of love to give and a ridiculous interest in the world around him. There had never been any mistaking the way he looked at Skwisgaar with longing, the same way he looked at him when the lead guitarist's back was turned, those instances where Toki stopped provoking him and Skwisgaar stopped putting him down. More than _interest_ , Toki had it _bad_ for Skwisgaar Skwigelf.

"Den what do ya got to lose by givin' it a chance?" Pickles asked.

"Mores den you thinks.” Toki crossed his arms over his chest, then embraced himself.

"You think we're gonna kick ya outta th' band or somethin'?"

"...I dunnos. I guess so's."

"Den lemme tell ya, dat ain't gonna happen. We need ya, Toki." Where would they be without that little ray of sunshine they called a rhythm guitarist? Things would not be the same at Mordhaus without Toki excitedly showing off his newest craft, or making dinner for them all just because he felt like it, or even without the temper tantrums thrown over the slightest indignation. If they wanted Murderface to stick around, they damn sure wanted Toki there.

Unfortunately, Toki would not be aware of it any time soon. Right as he opened his mouth to argue, Pickles blew more smoke rings in his face. "Look, you can tell Twinkletits 'bout yer problems later. Fer now, I'm tellin' ya t' go get laid. Told ya years ago t' listen to yer dick, yeah?"

 **That** made Toki chuckle. "Yeah. You dids."

"And what's yer dick tellin' ya?"

"Dat dis ams gonna be really goods or really bads."

"Have faith in th' first option, kiddo." Pickles said with a smile. "All good things t' those wit' faith."

* * *

Obviously, that was not how the saying _actually went._ Pickles said it only to encourage Toki to hurry up. Toki had to hand it to him, it worked; he had been standing outside his bedroom door for about ten minutes wondering how the hell he was supposed to confront Skwisgaar on what _Pickles_ assumed was a mutual issue. And for what? What in hell did **he** have to gain unless it was an elaborate prank? Pickles was nicer than Murderface, sure, and he picked up on romantic and sexual signals better than Nathan could ever hope to, but that did not make this sudden bout of **wisdom** less odd.

How was he supposed to bring it up, anyway? Just knock on Skwisgaar's door and say _hey, I heard you wanted to fuck?_ Yeah, **that** would go over well. He would have those long legs bent over his shoulders in less than a millisecond. Were it not an appealing thought to have the blond bastard moaning his name to the heavens, Toki would have forgotten all about it. But he could not. The worst Skwisgaar could do was call him gross and tell him to get out of his room. If need be, Toki could use Pickles as a scapegoat and they could pretend the conversation never happened. Blame it all on the drummer, right? Right.

Deep breath in, five seconds. Deep breath out, seven seconds. Then he began his short journey.

There was no one else in the hallway. Pickles had likely passed out somewhere, with Nathan and Murderface not far behind. Skwisgaar probably was not awake either, and Toki was not sure if it would be a relief or a downer if he _had_ fallen asleep. He shoved his hands in his pockets and mumbled nonsense phrases to himself as he walked, eager to curb-stomp his concerns before they got the better of him. It was not a long walk, really; the door was right in front of him in no time. Skwisgaar was undoubtedly behind it.

_Alright. I can do this._

Toki's first mistake was that he did not think to knock. He opened the door in time to see Skwisgaar jolt in place, slam his laptop shut, and scramble for his blanket. Unable to quite put two and two together ( _and briefly forgetting why he had shown up in the first place_ ) Toki shielded his eyes until he was sure Skwisgaar had covered himself.  
  
"I uhh…amn'ts sure _why_ ," he tried to explain from behind his fingers. "But Pickle saids I shoulds comes in here and talks to yous."

" _Tokis!!_ " Not even a minute in and Skwisgaar was already shouting. This was going _smoothly._

"Well, he _dids!_ " Toki opened his fingers a crack and stared Skwisgaar down as best he could. "Don'ts gets pissed at _mes_ , I amn'ts de ones who —"

Against his better judgement, Toki's eye wandered lower. Right between Skwisgaar's legs. He had let it wander before – preferably when Skwisgaar could not see him do it – but he was painfully aware of those ice blue eyes glowering at him as he did so. Uncertainty blossomed into realization, and Toki dropped his hand from his face.

Because right against the fabric of the blanket, Toki saw it; the outline of one very ready erection, courtesy of Skwisgaar Skwigelf. There was no woman in sight, no way for Skwisgaar to talk himself out of this situation and turn it into something **remotely** casual. Toki had caught him in the middle of _playing with himself_. What was worse? Skwisgaar was normally as shameless about his sexual lifestyle as Zeus; in fact, **more** shameless. Instead he just stood there, red-faced and panicked, looking torn between anger and god-knows-what-else.

Toki asked the only question he could come up with. It was like he had never seen or experienced an erection in his life before. Slowly, he pointed towards Skwisgaar's crotch, kept his other hand over his mouth, and asked: "…Ams that a bulge?"

Skwisgaar blinked and looked down at himself, then back up at Toki. His legs clenched together in a futile attempt to hide his shame. "…N-no?" A question, not an answer. Certainly not a **correct** one.

"…Ams pretty big." An understatement, really. Toki had seen Skwisgaar flaccid on numerous occasions, and he had always been hung. He rarely ever saw him hard though, and the blanket left little to the imagination.

"Ja, it ams, amn'ts it —" Too late Skwisgaar caught himself bragging. His eyes widened and he smacked himself in the forehead with his free hand. Toki, however, could not stop marveling. He licked his lips from behind his palm, only dimly aware that he was growing a stiffy of his own. Unlike his fellow guitarist, he made no attempt to hide it.

"Like…REALLY big."

"Toki," Skwisgaar said calmly…as calmly as he could, at least. "You ams talkin's about my penis. You knows dat, rights?"

"Yes," Toki answered just as calmly. At first. "I ams talkin's about your penis, Skwisgaar." Wait. It sounded WEIRD when it was put like that. Not at all hot and sexy. "Uhh…ams a thing I'ms doin'." He needed to _stop_ doing it too. The longer he spoke, the more a fool he made of himself.

He lowered his hands, stuffed them in his pockets, and offered Skwisgaar a tiny grin.  
  
"Nice penis."  
  
Wow. The greatest combination of words known to mankind. There were thousands of words in the dictionary, and Toki went with 'nice penis'. Now he was just _waiting_ to be kicked out.

Instead they stood in silence for the longest time. Toki's pants were uncomfortable, Skwisgaar's blanket probably was not much better. The Swede looked off to the side as if in thought, then hesitantly began to lower his cover, allowing the head of his cock to peak through. Teasing, maybe? Toki did not know if it was intentional. He also had no way of how long it took for him to get rid of that damned blanket overall, but within moments Skwisgaar's dick was unleashed, twitching eagerly under Toki's line of sight.

He gulped and looked back up at Skwisgaar. The blond looked anxious, struggling for control as he approached Toki. Was he finally going to kick him out? People usually did not place their hands on the hips of those they wanted to get rid of. Was he going to yell at Toki first?

Toki dared not move until he found out.

Skwisgaar sighed, cocked his head, and leaned in. Just a little. "Kiss me."

Oh. Well…that did not take long.

"…Reallys?" Trembling hands found Skwisgaar's shoulders and rubbed absently. They were so close. That 'nice penis' was rubbing up against Toki's clothed dick, prompting the rhythm guitarist to whine and buck into it. Only once.

"Please." Skwisgaar leaned in closer. His breath, warm against Toki's mouth, was all the prompting he needed after that.

And then they were on each other.

With Skwisgaar already stripped, Toki's shirt was the first thing to go. They were kissing the instant it was discarded and thrown to some forgotten corner of the room, hands tugging at each other's hair, tongues in each other's mouths. Toki pushed until the backs of Skwisgaar's legs hit the edge of the bed and the pair of them fell, Toki on top, Skwisgaar's elegant hands sliding down his chest and unzipping his fly without breaking away from his mouth. Toki whimpered in relief as his cock flew out, taken into a waiting hand and jerked to full mast.

At last they broke apart for air.  
  
"Dat's right..." Skwisgaar all but cooed, breaking the string of saliva between them. Toki could hear the smirk in his voice. "Dis a nice enough surprise for yous?"

Toki cracked one of his eyes open and stuck his tongue out at him. "Fucks you," he huffed as he thrust into Skwisgaar's hand. "Pickle was right. You _was_ readin's abouts me."

He was rewarded with a squeeze and responded with a gasp.  
  
"I was ins it too, you knows. Technically ams abouts _us._ Be mores specis-fics, little Tokis. And don't makes funs of mes when you what gots a boners yous-selfs." Skwisgaar sat up far enough to kiss along Toki's chest, taking a nipple between his teeth and twirling his tongue around it. "Dis whats you comes in here fors, den? You wanna acts it outs?"

God, he had _no idea._ Toki reached between their bodies to grab Skwisgaar's dick and give it the same treatment his was being given. His thumb brushed over the sensitive head, and he reveled in watching the Swede scrunch his eyes shut and bite his lip.  
  
"Don't looks like I's de only ones," Toki said breathlessly. "Besides, I amn'ts de ones caughts jerkin's off."

"Bets you a millions dollars you woulds'a starteds ifs I makes you leaves."

"You wouldn't _dares!_ "

Skwisgaar tilted his head to the side in mock thought, hummed, then shook his head. He pulled Toki's pants down as far as he could and brought the boxers with them. "Nah. I likes dis sets-up betters. Now takes you's boots off, amn'ts fair dat I's de only ones nakeds."

Any excuse to get out of those pants and into Skwisgaar's bed was fine by Toki. The only downside was that he had to pull away to get them off, and that meant leaving the blond to his own devices and _not_ kissing him for a few seconds. Toki struggled to kick his boots off ( _no time to untie them, he struggled to shove them off his feet like a **real** man_ ) and nudged them towards the foot of the bed, more focused on yanking his jeans off than he was on whatever Skwisgaar was pulling out from under the bed. Lube, perhaps or...

Toki glanced up, stepped out of his jeans, and his breath caught in his throat. In one hand was a tube of lubricant, no doubt some fancy brand Toki never cared to look into, and the corner of a condom wrapper. In the other was a pair of handcuffs. A ridiculous looking set too, rimmed with white fuzz. Toki jumped to the conclusion that Skwisgaar meant to cuff him, and immediately his face went white as a sheet. Fear: the one thing guaranteed to ruin an otherwise perfect fuck.  
  
"I amn'ts puttin' dose on," he said firmly.  He wouldn't, either. Skwisgaar could promise up and down that he would never lay a hand on Toki to hurt him, but it would be a _long time coming_ before he _ever_ felt comfortable being restrained, bedroom or otherwise.

Thankfully, Skwisgaar had other plans. Hesitating long enough for Toki's words to sink in, he huffed and rolled onto his back, the handcuffs dangling from his hand and over the bed.  
  
"I didn't gets dem outs to puts on _you_." There was humiliation in his voice, but he did not drop the handcuffs nor make a move to put them away. He just _laid there_ for a few moments to regain his composure while Toki measured the gravity of the situation. Never in a **million years** would he have counted on the fact that _Skwisgaar_ wanted to be bound.

One problem though. "Dere amn'ts a headboards." Toki glanced across Skwisgaar's body and around him to examine the bed. Nothing with which he could chain Skwisgaar to effectively.

"You puts my hands aboves my heads, you dildos," Skwisgaar answered impatiently. Toki felt stupid, glaring reproachfully back at him. "Locks it up dat ways. Ams simples."

"Ifs you's gonna be rudes abouts it, I can always leaves."

Successful in shutting Skwisgaar up ( _not so successful in softening his gaze_ ) Toki crawled into the bed and overtop of him, taking the handcuffs and lube, setting the latter aside. Skwisgaar looked away from him as he laid his hands above his head, kept them hovering over the pillow so Toki could lock him in place. Those hands lowered gradually onto the fabric, and soon Toki was peppering kisses along Skwisgaar's collarbone, his chest, back up to his throat where he gently bit and pulled at the skin. He heard a mumble ( _dont leaves marks_ ) and silenced it with a single push of his hips, their straining erections soon grinding against each other in a steady rhythm.

He could have cum from that alone. Frotting against Skwisgaar was further than Toki imagined he would get. Those plump lips moaning against his ear whenever they could reach it did not help; his cock was slick with pre, burning to be touched, yet Toki continued to fondle those hips and hold Skwisgaar in place. It was enough. It was _more_ than enough right up until he heard three magic words.

"Puts it in." Skwisgaar strained against his bonds and groaned with anticipation. Looking up from his neck, Toki trailed kisses along his jawline and looked down at him, brown hair curtaining their faces.

"You's absolutelys sures?" he asked, to which Skwisgaar laughed airily and looked away.

"You's _really_ gots to asks dat right nows?" He bucked his hips up again, drawing a growl from Toki. "You's fuckin's serious?"

"Don't tease mes. _Ja_ , I gots to asks right nows." Toki offered a strained grin as he bumped their foreheads together. "Maybes I wanna hear you says its more **plains-lys.** You knows... _convince_ mes."

A thin brow arched. "You gots me cuffed and you still needs convincin's." Skwisgaar shook his head and snorted. "You really ams somethin's else, Tokis."

"And you ams mine for de nights. Can't backs outs on it nows." It was Toki's turn to whisper, the words low and his breath warm against Skwisgaar's ear. "You wants me insides you? Says so. Says it just likes dat."

He could not tell if the noise Skwisgaar made was one of pleasure or agitation, but had it been both, Toki would not have been surprised. Still, it was difficult not to feel a sense of pride ( _and a fresh wave of arousal_ ) when the man started to beg.  
  
"Tokis, I wants you inside me. _Fucks me_ , dammits...I _needs_ it." Each word sent shivers down Toki's spine, making him wish he had not cuffed Skwisgaar at all. He wondered what it would have been like to hear him speak with those slender fingers trailing down his back. Even better was the fact Skwisgaar had started whimpering, still thrusting up against Toki while Toki had managed to still himself. "I needs _yous._ Please, _fucks me_ alreadys..."

How could he say **no** when Skwisgaar said **please?**

Kissing him briefly, Toki took the lubricant and sat up atop of him, popping the cap open and pouring a generous amount into his palm. More than was necessary probably, but it was better to be safe than sorry. If he had his way, it would not be the first time he fucked Skwisgaar that night. Might as well be careful. Besides, the amused look on Skwisgaar's face was priceless, one which outweighed his apparent impatience.  
  
"You thinks you's gonna breaks me?" he asked, quieting only when Toki shoved the first finger inside him.

Toki had a retort on the tip of his tongue. He would have used it had he not forgotten what it was upon seeing Skwisgaar's face. Blue eyes shut, teeth biting into his bottom lip, chest heaving in anticipation rather than pain. It was sometimes easy to forget how effeminate Skwisgaar could look from Toki's position at the bottom of the barrel. The difficult part was accepting the reality that he had such a pretty thing **crying out** for _him._ Toki chewed his bottom lip as well, carefully slipping a second finger inside him, and they both gasped; Skwisgaar in surprise, Toki in pleasure.

"I coulds get used to hearin's you moans for me," he murmured. Skwisgaar did not answer him, his head lolled to the side while his wrists strained against the handcuffs. Toki scissored his fingers to stretch him out, free hand grabbing the condom and tearing the wrapper open with his teeth. He thought Skwisgaar might tell him to be more careful. He was pleasantly surprised when he kept his mouth shut. "You thinks you's ready?" he asked through a mouthful of plastic.

"Please..." There it was again, that unexpected politeness from an equally unexpected lay. Toki pulled his fingers out and got to work with the condom. The instant it was wrapped around his cock he positioned himself, a hand on Skwisgaar's hip, the other at the base of his member that he might guide himself in.

Toki considered asking one more time if Skwisgaar was sure. One final look at his face – those eyes half-open and staring back at Toki, nostrils flaring as he tried to gather himself – told him it was unnecessary.

He pushed in. Nothing fast for either of their sakes, but the lubrication made it easier than Toki expected. The latex was thin; he could feel how tight Skwisgaar was, the clenching warmth drawing a growl from Toki. Skwisgaar mewled what might have been his name in reply, and when he arched his back Toki bent down to meet him, nuzzling into his neck as his hips rolled his prick deeper inside the lead guitarist. _His_ lead guitarist. Skwisgaar was _his_ – for the evening at least – a thought which made him growl yet again, half-tempted to **shove** the rest of himself in just to prove it. If nothing else, Toki would see to it that Skwisgaar would not be able to _move_ without thinking of him. It was unneeded. He was hilted before he knew it, pulled out of his zone by the quietest moans of discomfort.

"You's okays?" Toki asked, though the effort to speak cost him.

Skwisgaar nodded, brushing their cheeks together. Toki did not dare look up from his shoulder, but he could tell his teeth were clenched. "Ams been a while since I receives, ams all it is."

"It hurts?" That was not sexy at all. He considered pulling out for a second, but Skwisgaar wrapped his legs around his waist to keep him where he was.

"It'll stops. Ams alreadys close to stoppin's." He did not expect a kiss on his cheek before Skwisgaar whispered into his ear as Toki had done not too long before. "Don't holds backs. _Fucks me._ "

There was not much restraint after that. It flew out the window, shattered into a million pieces when it hit the ground. At first Toki struggled to gather them back up; he pulled out slowly, pushed in slowly, pulled away enough to watch Skwisgaar's expressions with little care for how he presented his own. Each thrust was in search of his prostate, the one place guaranteed to make him _scream Toki's name_ , and it was not long before those hisses of discomfort turned to cries of pleasure while Skwisgaar continued to struggle against his bonds. He clenched, unclenched, and it was **heaven** inside him, in his bed, on top of him, where Toki had always wanted to be.  
  
" _Goes faster_ ," Skwisgaar pleaded, and Toki was quick to oblige him.

He found what he had been searching for in no time. One had thrust at just the right angle made Skwisgaar shout, and Toki was keen on abusing it. Nails dug into Skwisgaar's skin as Toki tilted his head back, ramming himself in and out until he moved as fast, as hard as he could go. He could feel the bed shake beneath their bodies, felt himself start drooling, releasing one of Skwisgaar's hips so he could grab that ' _nice penis_ ' and stroke him in time with his pounding.

"Says my name," he ordered.

Skwisgaar moaned, humiliated, and no less turned on. "Tokis..."

"Again." His cock twitched in Toki's hand, slippery with pre. So close...they both were.

"T-Toki...!" Skwisgaar thrust upwards, eyes scrunched shut. "I's – you's – fuck! _Fuck!!_ "

"Dat's right..." Just a little further. A little higher. "Come ons. Comes for me, sweets-hearts." Whether the pet name, his prick, or both did the trick did not matter. Skwisgaar spilled and all but yelled Toki's name, thick jets of cum coating their stomachs and chests. Toki followed soon after, kept himself from collapsing by resting on his arms, and rode out the rest of his orgasm with a cry and a few slow, final thrusts. The loathsome condom kept him from flooding Skwisgaar as he fantasized of doing, but it was done. It was _done._

How _incredible_ it felt.

Eventually, Toki pulled out and rolled onto his back beside him. Skwisgaar lifted his arms from atop his head and rested them on his belly, clearing his throat to remind his junior that he needed one last form of release. Hellish though it was to move, Toki pulled the condom off and tossed it towards his jeans. He would throw it away later. _Much_ later.  
  
"Where's de keys?" he asked.

"Unders de beds," Skwisgaar answered, and reclosed his eyes. "Hangin's on a nail. Ons you's sides." Toki grunted in response and reached beneath the mattress, eventually finding a keychain and yanking it into view. Finding the **right** key took some doing; Skwisgaar had to stop himself from dozing just to point out the right one. The fuzzy handcuffs clicked open, and Skwisgaar shoved them beneath the pillow for later. "Come heres."

It was the last surprise of the evening. It was not conventional, but the sheets made for decent wipes when one was too lazy to get up and properly wash themselves. Toki scooted closer, and Skwisgaar wrapped his arms around him and tugged him close. It seemed Toki had taken the mantle of _cuddle-buddy_ instead of the guitar. Situating himself so his head lay beneath Skwisgaar's chin, Toki beamed. "I didn't takes you for a cuddlers."

"You didn't takes me for a lot of things, I bets." That was certainly true. They both laughed, fingers lazily exploring each other's bodies, legs tangled together, hair all in their faces. It was nice. _Three little words_ could top it off, and not too long ago Toki would have pushed his luck by saying them. Instead he decided to wait. They had an entire night ahead of them, and perhaps more nights to come. It was not long before his cock twitched, excited by the mere thought of the future.

He planted a kiss on Skwisgaar's shoulder. "You thinks you cans handles me agains?"

Skwisgaar hesitated, smiling into Toki's hair. "I think I can handles you goin's downs on me," he answered, and kissed where those brown locks parted. The hint was taken; it was a better deal than nothing. Skwisgaar was already half-hard by the time Toki worked his way to his crotch, and in that moment the pair of them knew they would work themselves into exhaustion.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks goes to my friends Maryrose and Connor for playing beta on this one, and to my friend Rick for the conversation which inspired this fic.


End file.
